1 nine 1

What does this mean? I don't know. What is the point of a dull pencil? I don't know. Why are things covered in water considered wet and not undry?" I don't know. Why do cup cakes not taste the same as real cakes? I don't know. Feel free to answer any or all of these questions.

1 9 d

What does my shirt say? 'Nothing.'

one 8 niner

Despite the occasional bird dropping, pavement can be quite nutritional. Nothing says 'healthy' quite as well as tar on the inside of the body... or is that supposed to be oxygen. I forget which is better sometimes. It runs in the family. Which is why I still have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs.

1 88

Call me an idealist if you want to but I believe everyone in the world that lives on planet Earth should own and frequently sport a fancy knitted sweater such as I have shown. Viva le Sweater!

one a tee 7

Yeah sometimes awesomeness just doesn't require words. This is me not having any words because of the awesomeness of this shirt.

won a T 6

Sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you look at my shirts. You could be thinking about a heard of elephants that escaped an alien zoo, stole a spaceship and came back to earth? Are you? if you are, the only way you would be thinking that is if you were there and if you were, then you're either an elephant or an alien... Which is it?

1 A.D. 5

He may be wearing no pants but I can tell you with absolute surety that there's a good 35% chance that I'm actually wearing pants.... Unlike that time we found my uncle Ferdan hanging upside down from a tree in the forest. Oddly enough, he managed to do that from the only tree that was shorter than him.

1 eighty fOr

Yeah I got another Superman shirt? I wouldn't be me if I didn't... or would I? That's one of those proverbial tree falling in the woods and no ones around to hear it thing or a toilet flushing when no ones there to see it. Make sense?

one A T three

Now this on the other hand I wouldn't mind talking about. There's just something that stirs in a mans heart, when he sees a beautiful looking chopper or hear it's engine purr,  that lights up and brings him happiness... I assume it's like seeing your child for the first time but better cuz you know you don't have to clean up poop or barf from a sexy chopper.

one A D 2

When I wore this shirt I was asked why I don't wear it more often. The answer is that I don't follow football too much and you know that if a bronco fan saw me wearing this shirt they'd ask my opinion on how their doin. I don't honestly know and they never want to hear that. So I just avoid it all together.

one 8 won

This shirt is even more funny if you've seen the movie "Dude, Where's My Car?" If you haven't seen it then just do what I do and pretend it's something about carrots. They can always make me laugh.

1 8 d

I honestly really don't like this shirt and so I will withhold my comments since they would not be good.

1 seventy 9

I'm so fast that even product placement shirts of mine have odometers built into them. It's sad really... Like I need an odometer to tell me I'm fast. That's why I have hair!

1 7 eight

Did you know that the number one killer of ghost busting people is death by unopenable pickle jars? hmmm. Me neither. Who the hay came up with that lame statistic?

one 77

Spiderman frequently punches through my chest like this. It is just an artist's rendering though. It wouldn't make sense if that was actual size. No one would be afraid of a little Spiderman. Hello!

one1 seventy70 six6

I'd show you the mask with it but then I'd have to show my socks too and those are just all too shocking!

1 7 FiVe

The true story is I got this and a matching shirt back in the day for a high school dance and had to try to explain it to my date...really? Um... this might be a good time to state that if she reads this, it is not in any way an offensive statement...

one 7 four

Do I know how to skate? No, but does Rambo or Chuck Norris? If they don't then I don't!

1 sevendy 3

It's actually a hoody but, like the Dead Sea Tupperware, is still good.

17 too

What up my ninjas!? I have no idea where on earth I go this shirt but I'm 98.2% sure I did get it on earth since I can't remember ever not being on earth. If you can read the Chinese or Japanese writing on here please let me know. I don't want to know what it says, I just want to know if anyone can read it.

I VII I

Like the time on the movie with the dinosaurs where the one guy decides to use the potty after the dinosaurs got loose, I don't feel I need to explain this one.

170

Who hasn't had four turtle heads on their chest for the public to see before huh? I'll tell you....that I don't know but it can't be a big number...

1 sixty nihne

It's October now. It's the month my great aunt Utaly called "the month of the stuff." She's the wordest in the family too. We usually have her give the death speeches at funerals. It'd probably go over better if she was still alive too....

1 60 8

And you may agree because you are reading this blog of amazingness. I normally don't wear this shirt around for 6 reasons. 1-It's a large and thus too big for my chiseled body. 2-I don't want to seem prideful. 3-6.

1 6 sleven

Okay, it's true. I did actually wear a shirt over this one out of the fear of being poked... that and I had to wear a different shirt to work. Don't you judge me!

166

What's that? Old school knocking? Yeah, I'd kick back to that.
That was a not clear way of saying that I'm kicking it old school with the Ninja Turtles.