for d three

haven't you ever been thrown against the bars because of a small dispute over blunt instruments and chevy chase's hair style during pool usage? me neither but i thought about it once. one of my elvis impersonating mothers once told me to never get involved with politics or freshly made mexican bananas. you can apply that advice to any scenario in life except for regulations on clothing at a gym. it just doesn't work out...

forty too

what's updog? not much, what's up with you? in our society it seems like our phrases are getting shorter and shorter while tall people are getting taller and taller. can you explain that using only 'q,' 'p' and orange jump suits covered in lemonade? i dont think so! so just slap your ponies with used licorice and call it a day already!

fordee one

your better off not asking why this shirt says what it says. my uncle megatron, who had his name changed after the original series of transformers came out, had a burning russian nesting doll collection and would constantly warn us not to bathe in gasoline before playing with them. 'no matter how good it feels, bathing in gasoline doesn't go over too well with candles around the tub. i used to have hair and look at me now.' he was always smoother than a freshly waxed baby's bottom. that lesson has lasted me my whole life and i've only took a bath like that twice. lesson learned.

4 D

The Aquabats are bats that are fine with the aqua. For those who don't speak nerd, 'aqua' is another word for water. The Aquabats happen to be one of the best bands out there! They in no way sound like the other band Aqua and are not affiliated with them. It's like having a kangaroo that's all hopped up on goof-balls and a different kangaroo comes along wearing a swimsuit. Can you see what I mean? Maybe I'll give you one more illustration. You're about to go down the biggest water slide in the world and the mung bean next to you suggests that you don't. You then follow her advice and decide to skip the slide part and jump from the platform into the shallow pool while singing Boyz II Men songs. I don't think I could make my point any more clear if I drew it out on a bald man's head and had him run around traffic yelling "All's fair in love and boar."

Thwirty Nine

Wondering where I learned my super speed from? I don't. It's just one of those things you just know. Like how you just know the sky is blue, or how mazes are actually solvable, or how slapping a horse in the face does not make them more friendly. The same is true even if you called the horse a few four letter words (like fish, cool, or rock). Those are facts of life that don't just change no matter how much you know about them. To better illustrate my point, there was a time when I had butter knives and a toaster. I had always heard that sticking a knife in a toaster, while it's plugged in, is bad. So I figured that meant at least two were required for it to be a good thing. Four knives in the toaster later I plugged it in and received a shock. I realized, all of a sudden, that I had forgotten to lock my car and went out to lock it before grabbing the knives. My blind uncle was not so lucky. He always had curious hands and while I was gone, he accidentally grabbed the knives. Now I know that asking the blind man to watch my toaster is a bad thing. I don't remember where I was going with it but I'm pretty sure we just arrived!

Firty Eight

Being slapped by an earless elephant after being chased by a cop car full of monkeys with knives duct taped to their hands is not the best way to die. In order for it to be the best way to die, the monkeys would have had to be spray painted different colors by other monkeys. Make sure it's not a human that spray paints them because that'll just ruin the whole thing, and trust me, you can tell the difference when it happens to you. You wouldn't want your last thought to be "Dang those monkeys weren't painted by monkeys! NOOOO!" That was the fatal mistake in my uncle Roberto's death. He had it all planned out so well too. He should have gone with his backup plan which actually happened to be death by Chuck Norris. Chuck, at the time, wouldn't do it cuz my uncle had a thick beard, and it's a known fact that Chuck doesn't kill other beardians. The loop hole in that rule has to do with what stuffed animal they sleep with at night. Make sure you bearded men and women out there sleep with stuffed ducks that have painted on beards. If not, you may get Chuck Norrised.

Thirty Sweven

If you've ever been in a crowded airplane right after they've served the in-flight meal of a burrito and baked beans, you'll know why I have this shirt. If you ask me, this is a creative way to get the point across. In fact, if the government was open to suggestions on any changes that could be made to the American flag, I'd suggest they put this symbol on the bottom right hand of it. That way, when people would think about America, they'd think "That's probably not a very gassy country." I wish the same thing could be said about my uncle Elbert. Let's just say that if he gets his hands on any expired baby food, which is surprisingly often, then you would be wise to get away from him as quick as possible. But enough talk about reasons why we shouldn't allow informal dinners for people that are physically and mentally capable of tying their shoes but buy only velcroable ones... oops, if I tell you anymore it'll spoil the book that I'm kind of almost not writing in my mind. You wouldn't want to spoil that would you?

Twirty S6x

Are you wondering why it's snowing in may? Me too. I'm more surprised than that time I went to use the bathroom after my aunt Helen. That stench put me in a two and a half day coma. I had to live with cross eyes for about a month after that even. Scientists are studying her to see if they can use that power as some kind of military weapon. Hopefully you can understand this shirt. If not, ask someone smarter than you to explain it. That's how I got through math in middle school. I'd ask the teacher how to do the ones I didn't understand. Turns out that it was all of them. So she did most of my work for me. I'm more clever than the one armed foozles of the north south region. Instead of finding ways to smack seals against the ice using only a tail, I'm using my brain for... brain stuff that is really smart and not made up or BS'd at all.

Thirty 5

This was yesterdays. I had sent it to this blog by phone but it turns out that it never made it so just imagine clever and random words going here that make no sense collectively.

thirty for

it turns out that It's harder to re-create this shirt without using fancy lights or a one eyed moose. if any of you have ever tried sneezing in a bowl of jello while your hand is doing the alphabet, you'll know what i'm talking about. a special prize may or may not await the person who accurately guesses how many different shirts i own.

Thirty Tree

They always tell you that running with scissors is a bad idea, but do they ever tell the person running from the person with scissors that slamming the doors behind them is a bad idea? No. I learned my lesson. I once was told that it's all fun and games till someone loses an eye, and then it becomes hilarious. I'm inclined to believe them. Plus, if you do lose an eye, you'll get to use an eye patch. What person doesn't look cool and tuff with an eye patch? It's impossible. How impossible is it? It's so impossible that dropping a brick onto peoples head's from a twenty story building in order to create static electricity without harming people is more possible. You don't see the Swiss team smilin' neither. In fact, if one of those Swiss boys ever come across a pretty girl, he probably yell, "eins, zwei, drei" and try to push her down some ice.

Turtee 2

I think we'd all disagree that hiding your stash of something you love, which also happens to be habit forming, in your desk drawer at work is a good idea. I sure do love my ramen though. Nothing says I know how to cook super well quite like ramen. I suppose that if you had one of those planes with banners, and had the banner say "I know how to cook super well!" it would be slightly better though. Slightly is still pretty close. Like when a penguin slightly penetrated your chest/heart with it's beak when it charged you, or when you go bungee jumping and they had a slight miscalculation on the length of the bungee and made it too long. Either way close is close right. Second place was close to winning, aunt Winifred was close to being a boy when she was born, and KFC was close to being called KMP. KMP stands for Kentucky's Mashed Potatoes. Instead of chicken they were going to mostly use their mashed potatoes as the main food item. It could have been something so great and slightly less risky for the hearts of those that frequent it....

Tirty Won

It's harder for me to look like a grandpa than I thought it'd be. My chain smoking aunt Candice, that's five and a half years older than me, always looks like an old man so I thought it would be a cinch. This is my shirt I was given for being the 'World's Greatest Grandpa.' I'm not a real grandpa in the strictest definition of the word, but one day I'll get married, have kids, they'll have kids and POW I'll be a grandpa. Think of this as more of a "pretty sure it'll happen" shirt. It's kind of like when a flower sees how strong a boulder is and wishes it could also be a strong boulder. Then, one day, the flower sees the boulder get several bird droppings on it because people put a bird feeder on the tree right above it. The flower then changes it's mind and decides that a boulder's life is not a good life after all. It's better to be run over and chopped up to bits by a mishap with the lawnmower. The lady told her one-armed son to be careful when mowing around the flowers but he had an accident when a bee tried to sting his wooden arm. He swatted the bee and the self propelled lawn mower took a turn for the worst. After the boy was released from the "disobedient cellar" three days later, he really regretted killing that flower but it was too late. So you see, it is kind of like that but not really.

Turty

I chose the road less traveled and now where the heck am I? Apparently I'm still on a road. My mom used to tell me I'd grow out of standing in the road, but how can that be if there are so many wide roads out there?
I'm reminded of the story I once herd involving cows that wore leather chaps (Oddly enough the leather chaps had "Eat More Chicken" embroidered in them). These cows were against all forms of using animals to fly. They would have rallys to discourage inflating elephants with helium. They would hold protests out in front of several capitals with signs that said "Reindeer are not slaves!" The most effective thing they ever did, however, was to charge a military base that was using chimps as plane mechanics. Of course the cows didn't live after charging heavily armed soldiers, but it was successful in the sense that all the men on the military base ate good that night. Gotta look at the positive side of everything. You would have thought, as the cows were charging, that one of the cows would say something like "Fellow cows, I don't think this is a good idea. We probably should have got the bulls to charge first." Of course, one of the other cows would have spoken up and said, "Girl you're all sorts a crazy thinking we have to get the guys to do the dirty work for us." Then came the shooting and as the cows laid dying on the ground, guaranteed the first cow was like "Told ya so!"

*Please note that I do not think cruelty to cows is funny, BUT these cows were asking for it. The soldiers shot out of self defense. The cows could and should have filed a complaint with the military, made a website and/or been interviewed on the news to get their point across better.

Twenta Nine

I figure that the most cool but non-gangish sign I could do with my hands was to keep my hands flat. The second one is to show the peace sign. I think it's obvious which one I went with for this pic. If you don't know what the show Fresh Prince of Bell-Air is you couldn't possibly guess what show this shirt is from. I know I look slightly different from how Will Smith did, but there are only slight differences. I may not be black, tall, have the same hair cut, eye color or even name, but minus all of that pointless stuff and we're the same person if you don't count the personality difference.
My aunt Frita, the Barbie doll doctor, used to say "We're all the same on the inside unless you came from a parallel world. In which case, your organs would be on the opposite sides of your body. They'd still be dominantly right handed like us though. So if you ever go to an alternate earth keep in mind that visa is not accepted everywhere you want to go, horses are not all named Ed, and baseball is actually exciting to watch." I always did look forward to visiting her in the mental hospital. The drinks they served were sterile and I liked the taste. Can you guess what it was they served there?

twenty ate

what goes better with a red ninja turtle shirt than a freshly baked pizza? a rock! That's exacky what i am holding in my hand. in my family we have two sayings involving rocks. the first is only eat it if It's naturally that color. the second is to never sneeze in the other person's scuba diving mouth piece. you might think That's odd but i had an uncle that made that mistake with scuba gear and ended up swimming with the sharks. his first name is rock... or at least it was, and the sharks that he swam with were monkeys with knives attached to their foreheads which are trained to attack such sneezing scuba diving people.

Twenty seben

have you ever wanted to be a dinosaur? if yes, That's messed up. i'd rather be a puff of smoke or a giraffe. not really but you can imagine how it would be if i did. i would have to join the giraffe club of water drinkers. they used to be the ultra cool snorkling giraffes of present day america, but it was changed because of a leagal dispute about not being able to throw animals into water canals to see if they swim. now they sit around a kiddie pool that is filled with punch. if only you could have seen that club in thier prime. oh well. You're dinosaur lovers, you wouldn't understand.

2 six

No. There is no form of constipation at work here. It's just that superheroes always seem to have some kind of aggressive angry attacking face, and I was wondering why we don't do that more. Imagine how cool it would be at the grocery store when the cashier was to give you your change with one of those cool poses. Now imagine how cool construction workers would be holding the 'stop' or 'slow' signs in a superhero pose. The world would be such a better place and I think less people would be mugged. Why? Because mugs would go out of style and thermos' would be more popular to drink out of. So people would more likely to be thermosed. It has a happier tone to it actually. Kinda like how my uncle Leroy, from my dad's side of the family, would play the saxaphone with his nose. Once we told him how the mouth piece wasn't named that as a figure of speech, and that he was to blow into it with his mouth, things started sounding a lot better. He also struggled with the tuba but I don't want to tell you where he was trying to blow for that one.... ok I'll tell you. His ears. Where else?

Five after 20

Yes it's true. I am anti-hypo. It's up to you to fill in the blank after hypo. Whatever it is I'm anti it. Such things may include, but are not limited to, hypocrites, hypoallergenic things like that hypoallergenic pillow, hypoadenias, hypoalbuminemias, hypochondriacs, hypodermic-syringe, and hypohippo. What? You want to know why I'm anti hypo? You must really love story time to keep asking me those type of questions. I'll tell you but then you have to promise to be good and go right to sleep (even if you read this while it's still day time). It all started when I was a young boy growing up in the gutter outside my house... No. That's how I realized I could be a scuba instructor for half the regular price of scuba diving I I used random people's backyards without them knowing. It really all started one summer day in January. The sun was hot but the snow was cold. Everything was going fine till I tried jumping in front of snow plows to scare the drivers but... No. That's how I ended up electing a penguin to be the president of my fan club. She's a funny little penguin and grandpa says she'll be back after she's done pushing up daisies in our backyard. You know, I can't really remember when I started becoming anti-hypo. It could have started last night when I made the shirt or years before. How do you think I became an Anti-Hypo-ite?

Twenty 4

Apparently it's not such a good idea to call people names or pretend you're a soccer ball because if you say "kick me," someone just might do it. But since when did we start liing in a society where people do what I say? I used to tell people, in high school, to do my homework but did it get done? No. I used to tell people to clean my shoes using their tongue but did they listen? No. I used to put starfish on my head and tell them to make me smart, but did I get smarter? Well... yes, but that was just another fluke. How was I supposed to know that those certain starfish were intelligent and telepathic? I'd say the odds of that happening are about the same as my aunt Verna rolling herself out of bed without the help of the entire village. There was one time she rolled herself out of bed without help though. There was an ice cream truck convention in town and four out of the six of them drove by her window at the same time. I've never seen four grown men so scared before... Maybe that's not completely true. I have seen more grown men and women even more scared then those ice cream men that thought an avalanche was coming for them. Aunt Verna's husband, uncle Klonie, mixed up holidays once and instead of greeting carolers with cookies or smiles, he ran at them with a chainsaw in hand and hockey mask on face. He thought that Christmas was actually National Friendship Week. I think that explains the chainsaw but not why he tried to cut his own hair with the chainsaw... it wasn't till later that we found out and we never let him watch Edward Scissor Hands with power tools in the house again. The dogs can't handle it.

3 after a 2

This tis me being high at the highest point in my house. It's higher than you think... unless your thinking it's as high as it actually is. If that's the case, I think it's exactly as high as you think you thought it is high in a vertical and non-druggie sense. If you've been to that part of CO than you've been to a place I haven't. So how did I get this shirt you ask? Well, I'll tell ye. I was wondering through a jungle infested with only the most sickening sounds. It was worse than having MMMBop by Hanson set on repeat, but I had to travel on. I came to what I thought was a harmless clearing. Being the amazing and semi-cautious person I am, I caught a passing unicorn and threw it into the clearing...then... kaboom! The tree next to me sneezed loudly. Oh, and the unicorn hit what turned out to be land mines. That might have also contributed to the kaboom but looks like we'll never know for sure. "Good thing I brought my jet pack," I said to myself as I reached in my pack. I attached the the jet pack to me and started to fly over the mine field only to find that I ran out of fuel. "Good thing I brought my Pteranodon," I said to myself reaching in my pack and then getting onto the Pteranodon. I may have also said some other things as I was falling but who can really remember all of those four letter words like 'poop' and 'snap' anyway. I then flew too close to a near by volcano and the Pteranodon dropped me out of fear. "Good thing I have my volcano proof submarine," I said to myself reaching into my pack and getting into that volcano proof submarine. I then did the most heroic thing I could think of. I turned on my phone, called for help and waited to be rescued after I fell into the volcano. And that is the story of how I got the nickname Barnacle Peet. Oh and I bought the shirt for 2 bucks at the mall several years ago but it's too large so I don't wear it often. If anyone wants it let me know.

tWo tWo

3 words: Monkey flung it. I'm pretty sure that's the excuse I occasionally usually go with. It works well in cases like the mysterious disappearance of a purple toupee, "where's your little brother?" or even "what time is it?" I found there are times it doesn't work though. One of the most haunting ones is when your aunt, which has an unidentified fungus on her feet, asks for her yearly foot massage. No matter what excuse I tried using to get out of it, nothing worked. It's worse than watching an episode of The Brady Bunch more than once in a life time. Maybe that's a little harsh. It's worse than the Brady Bunch and weirdly involves more blond hair. One thing to keep in mind with my extended family is that if they ever offer you anything other than a roll of toilet paper or a bar of soap, they want a favor from you. Don't be sucked into their vortex of slavery. Just a word to the wise, if they were to be sent in a spaceship to another planet, there'd be warnings all over that ship to tell the aliens not to open it.
Today's shirt features The Aquabats and they happen to be one of my favorite bands. If there's one thing I learned from reality tv it's to never tip a butler, always open the door only if you have to, and say what you're thinking with the hope of having the bad stuff edited out later on. Which it wont. The Aquabats have taught me more valuable lessons than that like always pay attention to girls in red sweaters, there's always two more snakes knocking at your door and breakfast is wrecked for the children of the nation by powdered milk. I should sew that last one into a pillow and mail it to my local astronaut committee. Looks like I got work to do. Later yall!

twen-tea-uno

my shirt today says 'if you think i'm cute? you should see my mom!' in celebration of mothers day. so if you've already carved your road kill for dinner and are done chewing old tires, think of your mothers and smile. you could also play on a swing set, kick a dancing king of litte people or sit while standing. no matter which of these you choose it will be worth it. like licking a lemon after its been on a car battery for two and a half days.

Twentee

1990 nintendo world champ yall! The shirt is not stating what was but what could be. In that sense, It's as real as my aunt Grimel's beard. seriously its disgusting. there was one time she used only her beard and a block of wood to start a fire to save imaginary orphans from being frozen to death. twas very heroic in a way... too bad it was at a gas station down the street that she started the fire. her funeral was the largest collection of bearded women the world has ever seen. those ladies have large appetites and desires for steroids... go figure.

Teen, Nine

I am Iron Man! Get it? I have an iron in my hand and I'm obviously a man. Iron Man 2 came out today and I'm gonna go see it which is why I'm wearing this shirt. I'm really darn tootin' excited to see it! I'm almost as excited as my uncle was last spring. We were at his house for the semi-annual Roast A Possum Day when there was a big explosion to the side of the house. We all thought the Nazis were invading so it was pretty intense. If you knew that uncle of mine you'd know why the Nazis would bomb his house. You'd also know why he milks his cows while doing a hand stand. The cows really can tell the difference. Anyways, the explosion was pretty big and loud, even compared to my families regularly large explosions. My uncle did the only thing he knew to do in a case like that. He ran and hid underneath his bed. He also put his stuffed koala bear collection all around him too so that the angry fire wouldn't get him. We had drunk all the water by then and there was no working hose, so all the men then went to put out the fire the only way they could (more on how they did it another time but I'll tell you that it does involve ingenuity, lighter fluid, cheese from the moon). After the fire was put out, we found that it was the outhouse that was on fire and my grandpa Gilroy was in it. It turns out that he tried to light a match when he was done and the whole thing just exploded. And that is the story of why my grandma stopped serving her special chili dogs at family gatherings. Oddly enough, that same day we learned the valuable life lesson of slapping a frisky cactus with local porcupine instead of your hand. It gives that cactus a taste of it's own medicine. And if you get poked by a porcupine I think it's obvious what you slap it with... a parking break or a politician.

za Aiy-teenth day

Song time: Hush little baby sleeping in the night. Close your ugly eyes so ugly monkey tight. Don't be afraid of the monster under your bed. It'll only eat you if you aren't named Fred. Forget about yesterday and how I left you at the store, cuz if you tell your mom then the monster will eat you for sure. And if that monster don't after your tattling come, daddy's going have an accident with his gun. That means I'm coming after you if you tell your mom you little fart nugget and then I'll...
Maybe I'll finish that lullaby some other time. My invisible dad used to sing that too me as I fell asleep sometimes. But enough with the warm and fuzzy trip down to memory lane followed by the alley way of scarring situations. In this picture you can tell that I'm sleeping on the couch. I would have taken the picture on my bed but my teddy bear was in the middle of a nap and I didn't want to disturb him. If you wake a sleeping bear I heard that they'll pull a Mike Tyson and eat your ears. Sometimes I can't tell if my bear's sleeping or just laying there so nine times out of thirteen I end up sleeping on the floor. Teddy did promise me that if I'm good that one day I'll be able to have a pillow and/or a blanket. I guess I showed him!
This shirt is from Jake and Amir. It's a podcast that I find funny. The newer ones aren't funny and get uncool sometimes so if you're goin to watch it, watch the older ones. I would explain more but my aunt Lacey just called and she needs me to hold up her back fat while my cousin uses a fan to dry it out. See you all in the morrow of the to.
Here's a Jake and Amir episode if you wanna watch it by yourself or with your favorite stuffed vegetable: http://www.jakeandamir.com/search/rapping

Sveventeen

First off, don't give me any verbal poo about the fact that the mug is empty. I'm well aware of that. How do you think it got empty? A flying squirrel didn't fly in the window, drink all the beverage and walk out the front door!... actually, I'm pretty sure that did happen once, but it was really my twice removed uncle Morty in a costume. That was a weird day. Turns out that I was putting fertilizer on the lawn and he was "rescuing" the lawn by eating the fertilizer right after I put it down. If he wasn't clinically insane before he probably isn't now. People don't change that much in a short period of time. I don't even know where he got the costume but I do know that the lady down the street that normally dresses like a squirrel didn't wear her squirrel costume that day. That's just a random fact and probably has nothing to do with my uncle Morty.
This shirt is in remembrance of the long off aired show of Cheers. In case you don't know, it was a show about people that spent most of their day in the bar dealing with problems that could have been solved sooner, and even prevented, if they weren't spending most their time in the bar anyway. I'd be willing to bet that there was some red headed step child still sitting in the corner for hours and hours cuz his father was at that bar. That child probably preferred to think his dad was on some safari somewhere fighting bears, natives and ingrown toe nails. That's a dangerous place to be though. People are killed by lions pretty infrequently over there and you never know if you'll be next. One day the his dad was imagined to be killed while on the safari. He mistook an open hippos mouth for park bench and it was a fatal. There was a nice eulogy given at his funeral by the stuffed animal bunny. We found he was stuffed alright. Stuffed with love for the imaginatedly dead father of the read head boy. Yes, I was there too.

Sixtin

There comes a point in every band's career when they come out with the CD meant to accent their softer and more artistic side. The majority of the time those CDs are not good and are not purchased by me. However, a CD with this cover would change it all! Instead of saying "I'm artistic and soft" it says, "I'm super amazing. I'm cuddly. I'm cooler than a Popsicle in the Arctic and you know it. I'm the dominant flipper on a penguin. I'm rather hungry so bring me some snow colored apples yo!" Can you see the difference? Of course all of you smart people can. All those that can't are obviously not part of the smart people group. This would be my bands CD cover though. Perhaps you've heard of my band, The Double Wide Parking Spots. Our mascot is an elephant with a little umbrella in a compact car. One of our band members, the tamborine player, went solo for a while and called himself The Squatting Fly. So for all you hard core fans, that's why we didn't have a single come out in the month of Flember. Don't worry, we are back now and our new song, 'I Licked A Light Bulb' is coming out soon. We just have to scare the water buffalo out of our non-existent recording studio first and how hard could that be? We tried throwing wet dogs at it but it won't leave. Maybe we'll throw something a little more scary like my aunt Katinga when she barely wakes up. Seriously, that women is crazy scary. Most of the characters like Frankenstein and Dracula were actually based off of her. Yes she's that scary and that old. What would you do for a CD's cover?

Fifsteen

I would like to first and foremost point out that I do not, and never have, watched that show Jersey Shore! I do watch re-runs of Reading Rainbow, The Price is Right, and Franny The Funny Falcon though. That last one hasn't actually aired yet. It's more of just a show that I watch in my mind when I'm tired of listening to the neighbor's cat, which happens a lot surprisingly. Franny the funny falcon is always found in odd places. In the last episode she ran into a building and fell onto a sleeping mime. Then her clever little woodland friend, the Piggy Pigenstein who's the pig version of Frankenstein, popped out of the wicker basket and said "Oh, you funny little falcon." Pretty much every episode ends with a mime getting hurt. Rumor has it that there was an never aired episode that featured a mime screaming before it got ran over by a little girl on a pink bike. If any of you know network executives that want to make Franny The Funny Falcon into a show, let them know that I'm open to offers. Such offers may include, but are not limited to, a pinball machine that gives gum balls instead of tickets, one shoe made entirely from clear plastic and/or a water balloon that can't pop no matter how many little kids you throw it at.
Back to the shirt. You should know that this is what it mostly looks like under neath the shirt, give or take the muscle definitions. You should also know that licking the nearest electrical outlet may cause sudden awesomeness to run through your body...