2 nine D 2

Stoke is a word and words are in sentences. And my 9th grade tutor thought I didn't know anything that had to do with English. Now who's laughing you stupid tomato. And to think I trusted you!

2 nine D 1

Wow, another shirt that someone somewhere thought would be a great idea and now is labeled as the unemployed someone somewhere. This definitely wasn't one of the one hit wonders of shirts but at least it doesn't smell like it was born on the freeway.

2 nine D

Isn't this amazing? Circle one.

2 A d 9

In the words of my old big toe, "that sure does look like an infected eye." He used to talk all the time but then he moved and I don't see him anymore. Maybe he's still mad at me for the accident with the chain saw. I didn't know it was electric until I was already under water!

2 A d 8

All the parts of the skull have to do with music equipment. So you might say I'm a music pirate who doesn't intentionally pirate music. 60% percent of the reason is me not knowing entirely what that means. The other 40% is water.

2 A d 7

It's funny cuz it's a football shirt instead of soccer. I know that's what they call it there but here I call it soccer; and who's wearing the shirt, me or them?

2 A d 6

If I were a big skater, I might this was a super cool shirt mixed with a little awesomeness but I'm not a skater. Unless we're talking about roller skates. In which case, I own them but don't know how to stop correctly. Who's idea was it to put the brakes on the front of those things anyways?

2 A d 5

I kind of wish that I had a cool story about playing pinball until I broke the machine but, unfortunately, I've sworn an oath to never mention it again... or was that about the pound of bacon I found on the floor and subsequently ate?

2 A d 4

If your ever around some of my family on the Easter Bunny's birthday, which is a separate holiday entirely from Christmas and Easter, you would know why this phrase makes you laugh and cry while thinking of toothpicks.

2 A d 3

Like some pants that have the bad luck of someone trying to fit them on a live cow, the zipper of this hoody is actually broken. I tried donating it to the Broken Zipper Hoodies Foundation but I couldn't find it cuz Dex didn't know... or it doesn't exist.

2 A d 2

Back when I got this hoody, part of me thought it was wicked cool. That just so happened to be the part of me that got beaten up and thrown into a garbage can on garbage day. But to answer your question, yes, I did sing.

2 A d 1

I may or may not have been born in the year that is featured on this hoody. I also may or may not have bitten through a used piece of tire glue. There's no way of really knowing for sure or not... like what shape the sun is.

2 A d

I wasn't the biggest fan of San Fran so I just got a medium sized hoody. So that probably makes me a medium fan of the place in which I visited once and now am mentioning in a slightly not so slight way...

2 seventy 9

It's kinda like fire and sand mixed in with some fancy goat shi shi. This hoody is about as thick as a moist towelette that's thinly covered in moistnessicity.

t2 78

It might look like pajamas but it's a reversible hoody yo! There's more than meets the eyeballs or something like that. Sayings are cool and I try to always memorize the sayings like this that I'm able to remember!

2 seventy sewen

Giminy Christmas Doctor Sporka! It looks like a Utah hoody. "Shut up Pickled Crying Purple Chomp Stomper!" Why does it always come out as a fat joke when you say my name?

2 sew en D 6

Thunder. Thunder THUNDER. THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOOOly crap this is a cool hoody! It's like one of those advertisements you'd see on tv when no one with a life is watching... which makes me wonder how I even know about it. Could be indigestion suggestions. Like when you don't feel so good and telepathic thoughts come to mind...

2 7d 5

Like the snorkeling Yoddle Bears of East Kentucky's underground rivers, this hoody has got a lot of pants! Pants to those bears means awesomeness in a "I normally swim pants-less" kind of way.

2 sevenD 4

Who's on miscolored fire? That'd be me in the hoody which you see above these words? Notice you can't see my eyes? Or can you? If you can, your name is amazing or Istanbul... either one, wow! I'm pressed in an Im kind of way.

2 sewenD 3

A turtle shell hoody? Can it be real? Let me answer my own questions with another question... Do you see my naked back? I know I don't think I do. I know you ladies out there that I'm not directly related to wish they could. Muscles would just be bulging and no shell would be seen. But back to the main answer to these questions... No, I never ate the fungus that rumors said I did. I just tasted it.

2 sevenT 2

Yet another weird sayinged hoody eh? Correct answer is Yes if the carpet is no longer on your face due to electrified glue drool which I'm so prone to for some reason. I believe it has to do with my shoe laces always ending up in my soups and me not removing them before finishing the soup...

2 sewen D 1

I have made a decision that, for a little bit, it's hoody time! And the senior citizens all cheer and sounds of dentures hitting the ground are heard in hearing aids around the crowd! Sprinkle some complimentary denture creme and everyone put those wooden smiles back in!!

2 seventy

Remember when a robber used to go into a bank with a gun that most likely didn't have bullets and asked for all the green backs they had? Oh, and then the flying space cowboy cop, who was actually a robot would stop him using 'Laser Thoughts?' This shirt represents all of those memories. It's also green and it's my back... green-back...

twwoo 69

I have some fancy brown shoes that I'm told go well with this buttoned shirt. So, out of trust, I wear the two together. I think I might have been ex-informed, the opposite of informed, because I think the shoes are actually bright blue and not brown. They even have zebra stripes on them. I never get deceived so I must be color blind of something... this shirt is orange right?

to 68

I have personally informally unfortunately titled this shirt as 'tags.' Some of you youngsters might be trying to pull some kind of material from your eye balls in order to understand why. Well, I have no likeingness in my body for this shirt so I never even took the tags off. Like how some people send their newborns to that nursery thing with all the babies and windows in hopes that their child will get switched and a different one will come back instead.

twoo 67

This shirt may be plain but it's got a lot of heart! Get it? Cuz I am making a heart by the clever positioning of two of my hands. In reality, I bet if the Native Americans would have done this hand gesture there probably would have been no trail of tears and the pilgrims would have brought more of the food for the first thanksgiving feast.

twwo 66

No, I'm not out of shirts. I have been taking the pictures but not putting them on here because I've the busyness thing going on. Which is the opposite of this shirt actually. Notice I wrote 'which' not 'witch.' I am, in most reality, a witch hater. I leave no good feelings for any witches that aren't exactly like Sabrina. She was hot and optimistic!

2 SixD 5

Yet another shirt that came from the mind in me. Don't worry though because this came from the good mind of my other personality. People seem to really like him so maybe you'll like this shirt too. Oh and everyone else likes it in ways that are expressed using only underwater Aramaic sign language so you should like it as well.

ToO SiXtY fOuR

Knowing is half the battle but the other half has to do with fighting and angerness in the form of unhappy feelings put together like the puzzle of anger... oh and port-a-potties.

263

Last day of Iron Man week... I am amazing in certain unrealized ways that people haven't realized to realize yet. One of those might be that I'm able to wear men's shirts and little boy's shirts. As I side note, I encourage you to not try to catch a car's tire when the car is baking up. It will work too well that's why.

262

Day 6 in the unknown phenomena that is Iron Man week for me. I mentioned once upon a time to my peg legged mailman that I ate air before breathing it. He later starved to death for unrelated starvation that came from not eating solid food. That could have happened to anybody with a peg leg and an eating disorder.

261

Day 5 of Iron Man week has come as unexpectedly as my aunt Terma giving birth to a human. If you've ever seen her, you would be surprised too. I thought for sure it would come out with tentacles or a day time talk show. Disappointment happens I suppose.  

260

Talk about indigestion, I got an explosive Iron Man coming out of my stomach. I wish this was the first time this had happened. There was a Christmas lunch one year when we ran out of syrup and so my aunt Budapest used engine coolant instead. I'd rather not go into the details about the aftermath...

259

Day 3 of Iron Man week. This shirt is similar to yesterday's with the exception of this one being blue and not white. I would like to take this not so opportune moment to point out with my littler pinky finger that blue is not in any way superior of inferior to the color white. Thank you.

258

Day 2 of Iron Man week! I bet your just tickled all sorts of colors that can't be seen by the human eye unless you first put your nose in a used shoe for an hour and a half. I'd rather no one ask me how I know that. If you must ask a question, ask me about the letter 'k.'

257

Santa gave me several different Iron Man shirts for Christmas and so, although I've already worn several Iron Man shirts, today is the first day of my Iron Man week. You're welcomez!

2 fiftee 6

The word 'Garage' in this shirt in no way implies the snot which flows from a sick person's nose... unless you're from some place that also refers to a 'Garage' as a 'Plonskinfoobal.'

two 5 five

If you were to zoom in closely, you might see the little part which approves this shirt as official movie merchandise. If you tried to zoom in by moving your head closer to the screen, did it work?

too fifty fooor

There are certain times in a person, or a Japanese firework's, life when everything changes. It has nothing to do with the shirt or what it says. I just thought you should know.

twoo fifthy three

You know that feeling you get after you've just slapped a perfectly good cactus with a slice of bologna while it's hailing? This shirt is kinda like that but in a really different way...

2a 5a 2a

Um I may or probably may not know what these birds are doing on that golf club. Kind of makes you wonder what the relationship is between the birds and Snoopy if you know what I mean... I think they're distant cousins that found each other through a private investigator and now their best friends.

day 251

There's a group of thinkers that are currently thinking thoughts in which the "track" referred to in this shirt is actually the name of kitchen knife. If it turns out to be true, we are all going to have to start watching what tigers holding knives that we let into our homes to watch over younger siblings or children.

Day two hundred and fifty

I'd like to let this walking and talking owl speak for himself. "Give a hoot. Don't pollute." I know it's a he cuz he's only wearing pants and I know for a fact that female owls don't just walk around topless wearing a hat. Be logical here.

2 49er

Hmmm bicycles, 1964 and Roma? No I did not give birth to any of those ideas. That would be crazy right cuz that would mean that I've already lived a long time and hahaha what a silly idea. I mean what are the odds that I was a military experiment to make immortal people who couldn't get hurt or die...It's just a coincidence that I've never had a broken bone or a cavity. ha you and your imaginations.

2 40d 8

Have I ever been to this camp? No. Why? Because that was for 1956 and I wasn't even born yet and, also, I have made it a point to not go to any states that end in "do." It always leaves me asking "What?"

7 with a 240 before it

One of my favorite parts about this non-invisible shirt is that there's a nice banner that would accent right wear the belly button is if the shirt one day did get turned invisible. Who would do such a dastardly dead? Look in the mirror... Because he's RIGHT BEHIND YOU! (splat) and now you're dead and wearing an invisible shirt.

too 46

If you've been actually reading the blog and/or paying attention to the pictures, you might have noticed that this is the second Chuck E. Cheese's employee shirt I own. This is more of a mock of one the looks more like a prison jump suit but still...Perhaps it's orange to get some of their employees used to wearing that color...

2 4d five

It's Potato Polooza with Mr. Potato Head! And what goes better with a toy made from a potato than a guitar? Correct answer is nothing or the color yellow on days that don't end in a 'y.'