99

Balancing on a fire hydrant reminds me of the holidays that my family would get together and decorate a fire hydrant. In true thanksgiving day style we decorated one in toilet paper and bags of nacho chips. It only got weird when the neighbors started throwing rocks at us and calling us hobos. We weren't homeless though! we totally had a luxurious refrigerator box and duct tape. They totally would have changed their words if they knew that. Coincidentally we're not allowed on George Lucas' lawn anymore.

9 ate

If you don't know what Kryptonite than ask your local super hero fan. Kryptonite makes superman weak and I make all the super attractive gals out there weak. Give in already eh! Oh and the picture with me holding just an 'A' totally made my A look big. Get it?

n9ne D 7

Some said I couldn't take a seductive picture. Well they're probably right because I didn't take this picture, I just was in it. If you're wondering how I got such a straight back in the picture, I owe it all to the stick I pulled of my great uncle's butt. Usually people just say that as an expression but this time it was real. After it was cleaned, sanitized and melted down and reforged, we made good use of it. He's a happier fella now in case you were wondering.

Ninety 6

This is how I look when I camp yo! Besides all the attractiveness and amazingness of me in this picture, it's not very good. Like when you see a stoned banana on the side of the road, it's best to just leave it there.

95

The shirt is in tribute to Land of The Lost, the book and or movie! I'd write more about it but are you really reading or looking at the pictures?

non tee four

Even super heroes take time to stop and smell the roses, and I'm not referring to the elephant's pooper scooper that works for the circus with the name Rose. You know how western movies have duels where two cowboys and/or cowgirls try to shoot each other at the same time? Well take that same scenario and instead of guns they flash each other with fancy pictures featuring them touching flowers and I totally would have still lost. At least I gave it an honest try though right? The next time that happens I'll be more prepared you yellow bellied cow sniffing photographers!

A nine and then a three

I gave a photographer and told him to make me look really good. What came out was me so far in the distance you have no choice but to think I'm attractive. Unlike the Gorganzillias that are known for eating their young's socks,.... well besides the whole sock eating thing I'm pretty sure we're the same. There was one time when their chief sneezed and it looked like me. To show a returned kind gesture I sneezed as well, but mine came out looking more like Bill Cosby made out of lime jello. I don't know why or how far I'm physically capable of falling from without dying but one day I'll know.