tWo tWo

3 words: Monkey flung it. I'm pretty sure that's the excuse I occasionally usually go with. It works well in cases like the mysterious disappearance of a purple toupee, "where's your little brother?" or even "what time is it?" I found there are times it doesn't work though. One of the most haunting ones is when your aunt, which has an unidentified fungus on her feet, asks for her yearly foot massage. No matter what excuse I tried using to get out of it, nothing worked. It's worse than watching an episode of The Brady Bunch more than once in a life time. Maybe that's a little harsh. It's worse than the Brady Bunch and weirdly involves more blond hair. One thing to keep in mind with my extended family is that if they ever offer you anything other than a roll of toilet paper or a bar of soap, they want a favor from you. Don't be sucked into their vortex of slavery. Just a word to the wise, if they were to be sent in a spaceship to another planet, there'd be warnings all over that ship to tell the aliens not to open it.
Today's shirt features The Aquabats and they happen to be one of my favorite bands. If there's one thing I learned from reality tv it's to never tip a butler, always open the door only if you have to, and say what you're thinking with the hope of having the bad stuff edited out later on. Which it wont. The Aquabats have taught me more valuable lessons than that like always pay attention to girls in red sweaters, there's always two more snakes knocking at your door and breakfast is wrecked for the children of the nation by powdered milk. I should sew that last one into a pillow and mail it to my local astronaut committee. Looks like I got work to do. Later yall!