Tirty Won

It's harder for me to look like a grandpa than I thought it'd be. My chain smoking aunt Candice, that's five and a half years older than me, always looks like an old man so I thought it would be a cinch. This is my shirt I was given for being the 'World's Greatest Grandpa.' I'm not a real grandpa in the strictest definition of the word, but one day I'll get married, have kids, they'll have kids and POW I'll be a grandpa. Think of this as more of a "pretty sure it'll happen" shirt. It's kind of like when a flower sees how strong a boulder is and wishes it could also be a strong boulder. Then, one day, the flower sees the boulder get several bird droppings on it because people put a bird feeder on the tree right above it. The flower then changes it's mind and decides that a boulder's life is not a good life after all. It's better to be run over and chopped up to bits by a mishap with the lawnmower. The lady told her one-armed son to be careful when mowing around the flowers but he had an accident when a bee tried to sting his wooden arm. He swatted the bee and the self propelled lawn mower took a turn for the worst. After the boy was released from the "disobedient cellar" three days later, he really regretted killing that flower but it was too late. So you see, it is kind of like that but not really.