Twenty 4

Apparently it's not such a good idea to call people names or pretend you're a soccer ball because if you say "kick me," someone just might do it. But since when did we start liing in a society where people do what I say? I used to tell people, in high school, to do my homework but did it get done? No. I used to tell people to clean my shoes using their tongue but did they listen? No. I used to put starfish on my head and tell them to make me smart, but did I get smarter? Well... yes, but that was just another fluke. How was I supposed to know that those certain starfish were intelligent and telepathic? I'd say the odds of that happening are about the same as my aunt Verna rolling herself out of bed without the help of the entire village. There was one time she rolled herself out of bed without help though. There was an ice cream truck convention in town and four out of the six of them drove by her window at the same time. I've never seen four grown men so scared before... Maybe that's not completely true. I have seen more grown men and women even more scared then those ice cream men that thought an avalanche was coming for them. Aunt Verna's husband, uncle Klonie, mixed up holidays once and instead of greeting carolers with cookies or smiles, he ran at them with a chainsaw in hand and hockey mask on face. He thought that Christmas was actually National Friendship Week. I think that explains the chainsaw but not why he tried to cut his own hair with the chainsaw... it wasn't till later that we found out and we never let him watch Edward Scissor Hands with power tools in the house again. The dogs can't handle it.